Does it also regularly happen to you that you forget to pack an umbrella in your suitcase? And if you somehow accidentally take it, it hangs in the hotel on a hanger the whole time or you are sure to forget it in the very first restaurant? I am really not jealous of your stay in Amsterdam under these conditions. You will get wet, several times a day. And your "guaranteed waterproof" jacket fails you again, your hair gets flat and when you pull out important documents from the bag, you can just turn them into paper planes. Do not attempt to defy today's unfavourable horoscope, make astrologers happy, cross the white line into the bike lane (don’t worry, you can do it easily, because it takes up about three quarters of all pavements), and let yourself be voluntarily knocked down by a young self-assertive man in a nice suit. (From the basket attached to the front of the bike, at best a dog, at worst the latest fashion craze – a pet rat – will be probably surprised at your awkwardness.)
If you are in a hurry heading to visit friends, stop by at the market to pick up a bouquet of tulips, though you may feel that you are carrying coals to Newcastle (every true Dutch apartment looks more like a jungle and there is some "grass" protruding between those brightly coloured flowers). You will fit into the entrance hall only assuming that you have been saying no to dessert after lunch all last week. You will be then able to burn the excess calories on the way to the living room. The steep staircase apparently serves as a simulator for a climb on Sněžka in difficult conditions (imagine it, for example, in high heels and after drinking five shots of rum). The master of the house mostly smells of brand-name tobacco and, during your hour-long stay, his offspring, sample specimens of liberal education, will manage to spill sticky lemonade on you, break a vase and, without any intervention of the parents, constantly keep interrupting everyone. "Just let our creative angels learn to freely express their attitude towards life from their childhood!" the smiling hostess says regarding her children instead of a well-deserved slap. Before they do another "cute" prank on you, you quickly put on the damp clothes and head back to the hotel. And do not ask the receptionist so stupidly why everyone in Amsterdam washes their windows in the rain. When else do you think they should wash them?